well...all the boxes are in the living room

the clothes...and dvds...and printer...and pencils...and stereo..and pictures..and lamp..and the purple and gold board with the little tigers on it...

it's kinda weird though...cause my room looks funny...it's clean for one thing..but it's missing some things...the things that are in the living room...and soon those things will be in the trunk of the car and on their way to a new destination...and this is to be my home...although it never will be...but it's where i'll lay my head..and place all the expensive material things that at one point i thought i had to have....and i'm sure every once in a while i'll look around and think..."something is missing"...and no doubt it will be all the other things that are sitting in my room and will continue to sit there while i try to make home of some small room that just blends in with all the rest in a building full of small rooms...and this makes me wonder in the back of my mind..."will i always miss the things i left behind?"....the keepsakes that dad says 'probably shouldn't be in a college dorm room'..because they're too nice of course...or the clothes i couldn't fit in my suitcase...or the pictures on the window sill...or the 17 year old doll that lies on my bed the two times of the year i actually make my bed? or maybe one day I'll buy new things that will take the keepsakes' place...and i'll get new clothes for christmas....and i'll take more pictures...but there are things like a doll you got when you were only 12 months old that somehow can't be replaced....and it's then that a tear forms in the corner of my left eye...and i realize...there are things and people that have made up this room of my life...and i'm taking some with me..but i'm leaving some behind...and i know that in this new place i'll think "there is something missing"....and that's all those things that God put in my room for the first 18 years of my llife...but now it's time for a new room...but nothing says you have to replace everything..there are some things and people that you just can't replace...you just add more...and just like i could never forget how i left my bed...and desk all messy...and the dresser with one drawer open and clothes hangin out...I can't forget how i left home...and i won't...and my things will be waiting for me when i come back every now and then..and i hope some special people will too.....

tomorrow is the day and it's so surreal at times that i can't breathe...but i couldn't have asked for a better last few weeks...the party you guys threw for us was awesome and i'll never forget what great things yall did and said...

so next update will be from a new location...somewhere that i'm very excited about being.....it's gonna be incredible...we could use all your prayers though..it'll be new and different but i know God is about to do some incredible things...thanks for all you've done and please stay in touch...

claire

I'M BAAAAACK....

and i'm stayin...hopefully

i hate it but i love that i've been so busy that i dont have time to come sit infront of a screen and pour out my heart's desires and hopes and wants and dreams and confusions...it's been good to just live and not write anything down...but it's good to be back in the lovely xanga world and i definitely want to stay here for a while what with leaving being 2 and a half weeks away which i have to say blows my mind...it's crazy how quickly this summer has gone by..but oh the summer i've had..

there was that senior trip that i have a picture from down there somewhere on another post...

and the family trip to L.A.

which was pretty stinkin awesome to be in a place like that...you know seeing all these streets and things on movies and being like...hey i was there a few weeks ago..pretty great..we got to see sets of movies and shows like Desperate House Wives, The Grinch, Psycho, Pirates of the Carribean, Back to the Future, Bruce Almighty, and some others..went to Malibu, Muscle Beach(where Arnold Schwarzenneger used to work out), Disney Land, Universal Studios, NBC Studios, Santa Monica, a Dodgers Game, Hollywood, all the great stuff over there in the lovely California and it was wonderful

then there was a small road trip with some lovely friends...

we went to six flags and spent some quality time together..and as you can see we spontaneously ice skated which was probably my favorite part of the whole weekend...great road trip it was..

then....there was AUSTRIA......

yes indeed it was incredible...i can't even seem to describe it with words...it's so beautiful over there...and the music and the singing that we did was a lifetime experience that i'll never forget.we saw all the places they filmed the sound of music....palaces..fortresses...places that the nazis held...we made friends from arizona and even got to know eachother on the trip in really cool ways and i'll basically never forget my first trip to europe...

i dont' have pictures just yet though because i'm waiting for my brand new mac computer to come in ...heck yes i am...so then i'll have pics hopefully and will get back into the swing of this with a computer that actually works..

and then there was orlando visiting jaimee and lindsey in their new home and lifestyle and it was loads of fun..we go to do all kinds of fun stuff and just getting to be with them again was worth the trip...i just miss them again...which is no fun

and last there was youniversity...wonderful youniversity with the rec. staff first year and the morning update festivities and the lovely food and the incredible worship and the washing of the feet which was also a landmark moment in my life...there is no other week like youniversity...the best getaway there is...

so that's basically where i've been this summer...i didn't plan on recapping it but oh well...the rest of it has consisted of spending time with an absolutely wonderful human being who makes me feel happy in ways i've never known and who i can't get enough of...it's all greater than i ever imagined and it makes me smile...but yall don't care about all this mushy stuff...

anyways...all this to say..we all should embrace the xanga...its' the only one that you can type so stinkin much on..and that makes it fun..thanks for stikin in there and i hope everyone's summer has been as life changing as mine has....

you guys are awesome

me

so i managed to not update this thing for the entire month of may...which i find odd...because this has been perhaps the most eventful 31 days of my life....so all i can think to do to give it justice is..of course pictures...and well a recap....so, sorry but i think you know this is gonna be long...

recap: this 31 days has consisted of ....1.the firsts of all the lasts at school...

2.signing yearbooks in a new way, instead of "have a good summer" it seemed to ring " have a good life"...

3.having chicken day for the last time ever...4.writing a poem to recap my entire life as my last assignment and realizing it was my favorite assignment of all my 12 years of school..5.signing out and saying goodbye to the adults that have impacted me in more ways than i ever realized..and of course dancing with jaimee in the empty halls to signify the bittersweet excitement of never walking those halls again....

6. having a ceremony to signify leaving the youth group and thanking all the Godly influences in my life and the greatest friends i've ever made..

7. starting a new kind of relationship...that i cant help but smile about every time i think of it..and knowing it was worth the long wait..and realizing just what it is to want to be wonderful because they're so wonderful...and well if i keep talking about this boy i wont finish this entry...heeh...

8.the senior parties galore...canards in a limo....outback with jaimee and mrs. wilson...a jazz dance...crawfish...and many other free meals in celebrationi!...

9.attending the graduation of a dearest friend as she sang and looked beautiful and realizations of growing up and moving away get closer and closer...

10.going through the steps to the end of an era..

.the rehearsal...the rushing...the family arriving...and then we walked and it was surreal and unforgettable and really all i could have asked for..

11. and then came a real goodbye..of a friend who has been more than incredible in my life...and it was the first of the real goodbyes..the ones that bring tears for a long time...and the feeling that having to go isn't fair...

12. and the first senior trip..13. and the first time we've ever been in two places at once..

14. and i came the closest to death that i've ever been on some hardcore level 4 whitewater rapids...

15. and attending a real drive in movie that's been open for 50 years and living in a closet with 6 other girls for 4 nights without reception on our phones and mosquito bites and sore muscles we didn't know we had and well what seemed like one of the worst situations you could imagine was turned into some of the greatest times...

16.and now i leave again for the lovely L.A.!!!...and my family and i head to the west coast for the first time all together and do our first family trip to a place where none of us have been....i'd say this summer has already been pretty incredible...

so maybe you feel like you've been a part of my month of may..of course..anyone who read all of this was probably part of this month and really just wanted to see if they were in any pictures or if they were mentioned...but i love you for whatever reason you've gotten this far in the recap...and i do appreciate you being a part of my month of may

hugs and kisses to you all